Stop it !

Want to talk about something? Life? Faith? This is the place.
Post Reply
User avatar
Joyce
Posts: 2365
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:54 pm

Stop it !

Post by Joyce » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:17 am

I do wish all these people who can now hug their grandchildren, or meet their friends, would stop going on about it as if they've been deprived of air because they've only been seeing them on screen for as long as a school term. My grandparents would have given their limbs to be so lucky. I had cousins who as children went abroad with their parents to live and might literally never be seen again in their grandparents' lifetimes. When I was a grandchild, meeting grandparents was an annual or twice-yearly event at most. We didn't whinge and neither did they. Since when did we become such a nation of huggers anyway that we go to pieces when deprived of it ? I recall when we only hugged our friends if they were extremely sad or won the pools. Footballers hugged one another on the pitch when a goal was scored and we scoffed.
And as for rejoicing about finally being allowed to go out and about, collect one's shopping, go to a pub, a park,a beach or a hairdresser 'again',not to mention going abroad for a holiday, as if being safe at home for barely three months has been a huge deprivation - don't get me started.
Thank you < - insert sarcasm icon, ( I wish we had one) - > for as good as telling me my normal life isn't worth living.

I know I've complained about the pain I'm in because delivery drivers can't carry things indoors.It still makes things very difficult but there's another side to that coin. I'm among the thousands who have temporarily been liberated these last weeks by having more opportunities for interaction,entertainment and obtaining goods. For example, oatcakes and pyclets came to my door,still warm, within minutes of my online order when hitherto I'd have found the journey to the market stall where they're made impossible. A local cafe now delivers reasonably-priced hot Sunday roast dinners so hot from their van that oven gloves are needed to bring them in. I can't see them keeping that up once they have customers at tables expecting service, at least not without delivery charges beyond affordability. Theatre actors have been doing plays online and musicians have given concerts.That will end, no doubt, when they have audiences again :they couldn't afford for it not to. Joining Church services twice a day, seeing real people in real rooms instead of avatars, ( not that I was ungrateful for the avatars before ) has been a treat that many churches won't be able to keep up once their B&M services get back to normal. How long will it be before those of us who've had our lives enhanced by the lockdown will be sent back into our shells ?

For the first time since being more or less housebound you're making me feel depressed and deprived instead of lucky I don't have to go out on a cold wet morning to get a bus. Hearing people on the internet or the TV and radio saying how wonderful it is no longer having to live like me is giving me an insight into how others might regard my life as a deprivation. It doesn't help. It's making me see things in a much more negative way. As the overworked nurse said to those who'd emptied the shelves, stop it.

Spare a thought also for those who've not even been able to bury their dead with much ceremony, nor visit their sick relatives and still can't. Telling TV interviewers and radio phone-in hosts how happy you are to get on a plane to the sunshine as if not doing so has been some sort of hardship, is rubbing it in.

At the risk of breaking Commanments against covetousness, I ask : stop making me feel worse.

User avatar
Ernest
Auxilium
Posts: 3935
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:24 pm
Location: North Kent, UK
Contact:

Stop it !

Post by Ernest » Sat Jul 11, 2020 6:17 am

Joyce, thank you for this.

It is something that I have been thinking about with many of our parishioners are suffering in terms of having to shelter completely due to their various ailments, age and disabilities, some of them widows (male and female) for whom i was a vital contact taking home communion to them and if necessary, checking in with them occasionally. Some in care homes, some in their own homes.

Shirley, a wonderful lady, who lost her husband 'Derek two years ago, it totally bedridden with MS and Derek was her full time carer, when he just sat down by her one day, and died where he sat. A real shock for her, and it resulted in her having to move into full time care.

Both had been local members of the council for 30 years for the ward we live in, before illness struck. Derek with cancer, which Shirley saw him through to remission, than her MS really took a turn for the worse, and they exchanged roles.

Shirley might be frail in body,l but her mind and intellect are alive and well and she is someone whose conversation is wide ranging and informed, her life experiences from war work as a nurse and subsequently as the NHS blossomed and developed and later a a social worker and local Labour Politician demonstrates to me that generation who lived through the worst of times and who made a huge difference to the lives of local people for over 60 years.

I haven't seen her (or the others) since I took her Home Communion the day before lockdown was imposed, and no doubt she knows why, but her isolation away from friends and wider family (who all used to visit her) must be a deprivation, hard to bear.

Prayers for her and for you as you cope with the feelings at this time. :votive2: :votive2:
Where there is hope and love there is life!
God is Life!
God is Hope!
God is Love!
God Is!!

User avatar
Emle
Posts: 2184
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:18 pm
Location: Highlands of Scotland

Stop it !

Post by Emle » Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:22 pm

You are right Joyce, so much more has opened up during lockdown to those isolating with mobility problems.
My life hasn’t really been impacted at all during lockdown as I only ever see my grandchildren for one day a year, when we meet somewhere convenient to us all or at Weddings. I have not been able to walk any distance for nearly a year now and I tend to keep myself to myself most of the time.
The benefits for me have been Drs. and Physiotherapy Appointments via phone or video calls ....meaning I do not have to trouble my son to take time off work to take me.
We normally collect all medication from the surgery, another trip my son makes on my behalf, but during lockdown the surgery wanted to reduce the footfall as much as possible and arranged a home delivery prescription service via the Community car scheme. I feel I have gained my independence again being able to do all these things without needing to trouble my son. I no longer feel such a burden to him.
I have had more contact with my family than ever before, joining up in chat rooms or sharing in instant messaging. No one was too busy or going somewhere .....no school runs or busy work schedules ..working from home meant I could share lunch and coffee breaks with them via video calls ...be privy to any new hatchlings in the nursery and life was of a much slower pace altogether.
753C299F-BA79-452B-94DD-0980038452C1.jpeg
However, like you say Joyce things will slowly revert back to the way it was and everyone will become busy again and Life will become the ‘new normal’. But we have to accept that and remember that while lockdown was perhaps very difficult for some people ...we found ourselves appreciating all the extras available.
Take care and keep safe :votive1:

User avatar
Joyce
Posts: 2365
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:54 pm

Stop it !

Post by Joyce » Sun Jul 12, 2020 10:49 pm

"...we found ourselves appreciating all the extras available."

So true, Joan ! We did indeed.

I've been trying to find a Church online-cast today that isn't saying how wonderful it is those extras are behind us or that we won't need them for much longer. One has to be glad so many people are happy and relieved : I just wish they'd keep a bit quieter about it. :cry: Or at least more balanced in their remarks/preaching. I miss the pub, the swimming pool, and the restaurant too - all you whingers and mardarses, please stop making hardly three months seem like long time.
( Regarding those for whom home is a dangerous place,of course one is thankful for any chance they have to escape and find refuge elsewhere,I don't count them among the WM. Nor those struggling to care at home without usual assistance for disabled dependants. Nor do I count any who're looking foward to visiting sick loved ones they're worried about in hospital or care.)
I've always been irritated by the excluding-preaching that's about poverty, as though the poor and needy are 'other' and can't possibly be in the congregation hearing it.Way to make folk feel rejected.This 'thank-The Lord-we're-getting-back-to-normal,wasn't-it awful-we-had-to-do -things-like-this feels just like that.
Premier UK held a helpful inclusivity webinar last week which showed some clergy having a rethink and showing appreciation of how lockdown worship was helpful to many more than they'd expected. Someone summed up the situation in a way I'd not heard before : we're all in the same storm but in many different boats, and not everybody has a boat.Some were wondering how churches could be hybrid in the future, but were realistic about the difficulties involved.

User avatar
Emle
Posts: 2184
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:18 pm
Location: Highlands of Scotland

Stop it !

Post by Emle » Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:55 am

Someone summed up the situation in a way I'd not heard before : we're all in the same storm but in many different boats, and not everybody has a boat.

This is so true, thank you for sharing ...it has got me visualising each of my family members and friends in different sea going vessels and remembering those who really have struggled through this period and are clutching to life rings.

I am sorry you are finding coming out of lockdown a bit deflating Joyce but maybe we should see it more as the end of a holiday and return to everyday routine again. Is there anything you can take with you from these past few months that will enhance your daily living?

Keeping you in my prayers :hug:

User avatar
Joyce
Posts: 2365
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:54 pm

Stop it !

Post by Joyce » Thu Jul 16, 2020 1:03 pm

Thanks,Joan. That's a very good way of looking at things. Also, some services, such as GP consultations onlîne, may stay now they know it works.
I'm sure those who're happy at being allowed out don't really intend to disparage the normal lives of housebound people. Although it felt to me for a bit that they were doing just that, as Dr Laura says ' Feelings have no IQ.'.

User avatar
rogerjames
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:46 am
Location: East Midlands

Stop it !

Post by rogerjames » Fri Jul 17, 2020 5:58 am

I've read your reflections with interest, Joyce. Many members of my family lived and worked around the world, as indeed have I. Those who worked overseas in the earlier days had only the most rudimentary communications and long absences. It was not unknown for families to cope with worry and grief across half the world, supported by nothing more than letters, then later telegrams and the occasional long-distance phone contact. I recall my father getting a telegram to tell him his father had died in the UK. I still have the "one liners" to and fro that marked that - and that's one example of several pithy and moving exchanges. I once worked in a location where I had to motorcycle to a post office on rough roads in order to have a radio conversation with someone. It's all relative. I did not feel hard done by. Grief is not measured by the cupful.

In some ways I find the volume and speed of modern ICT lacking in the poignancy of earlier, simpler means of staying in touch - there's just so much of it to wade through. We need space to reflect too. The 6th Cent BC writer Lao Tzu put it this way:

Thirty spokes share the wheel's hub;
It is the center hole that makes it useful.
Shape clay into a vessel;
It is the space within that makes it useful.
Cut doors and windows for a room;
It is the holes which make it useful.
Therefore benefit comes from what is there;
Usefulness from what is not there.

:minicandle:
Roger
Roger James

Good Words are worth much, and cost little. George Herbert
[Outlandish Proverbs No 155]

Post Reply