Nobody knows I went to see him.
He had caused a scandal by his teachings, and even more scandal by the people he kept company with. Women followed him around and gave him money. His followers wanted to raise an army to bring in the Kingdom of Heaven with him at the head of it. Crowds gathered wherever he went and disturbed the peace.
He was trouble. He would have to be got rid of.
But there was just this nagging doubt you see. There were healings, and rumours of miracles. Maybe he was a prophet after all. I didn’t want to miss out. And the way things were going, I didn’t have much time.
I went to him at night. He didn’t live up to his reputation. I expect a teacher to make sense, to present his points in order and with proper explanations. But he talked in riddles.
‘Born from above,’ ‘born of water and spirit’ – what did he mean? We are born once and die once. Can we go back? I asked – of course not! It was nonsense. Sheer nonsense.
But all the time he had that little smile behind his eyes, as if he knew I wasn’t getting what I wanted.
I was infuriated and I let him know it. I’d risked a lot to see him and frankly I was disappointed. Teacher? As I suspected, he had nothing to teach me.
Born of the spirit? What does that mean? Why was he so obsessed with being born again?
He didn’t care – he laughed out loud, as if I was telling him a joke, not pulling his teaching apart.
‘Let’s try again’ he said kindly, as if I was a dull child who couldn’t learn my letters.
And told me about God’s love for the world, and the light and the darkness, and how we may be saved.
And just for a moment I was caught up in his story, I saw why people believed in him, just for a moment I believed he could change the world.
But he couldn’t. It was too good to be true. He’s reached the end of the road now – as I knew he would. He was just too dangerous.
Born from above? Born of water and spirit? What did he mean?
You can read about Nicodemus here.
I wonder if I were to visualise myself into the Place of Nicodemus, how would I have understood – steeped in scripture, but with no insight into people or a new, vital message?
This was a totally new idea – that ANYONE was eligible to be saved, not just the Jews, who believed themselves to be the “Chosen” ones of God. It would have taken a huge movement of heart, mind and spirit within Nicodemus to make him ’see’ and understand.
We don’t get a follow up on Nicodemus, what he did later, but presumably, having been totally unable to interpret what was being said to him, he went back and joined the cabal who condemned Jesus.
I’d like to think that what he had heard haunted him for the rest of his life, and maybe even bagan to make sense at some point.
He must at least have felt that he was missing something vitally important.